Tails by the Foxfire

New Year, New Us

With a new year right around the corner, I think it’s only natural that our thoughts might be turning to hopes, goals, and resolutions; ways to better ourselves, things we want to do and see, and all (hopefully) without placing too much pressure on ourselves.

For me, my aspirations are usually the same: get that book published, find a steady income, and most importantly, to beat my anxiety just a little more that year; to be less afraid in general.

Well, I’m not a world-famous author, so I’ve not had much luck with that first goal yet, but I like the idea that I might someday. I like something to strive for, especially if that something flexes my creative muscles. At the top of a new year, though, you never know what’s waiting. Maybe I’ll publish, maybe I won’t. Becoming a streamer of note is the new goal for the year, so maybe that’ll happen, maybe the Foxfire blog will take off. What I love about this time of year is a completely blank calendar and the unpredictability of it all.

One thing I know for sure I’ll do this year, though, is finally beat Tomb Raider 1, and that’s something I REALLY thought I’d never do.

My First Hero

Core Design’s original Tomb Raider is the first game I really, really remember. My brothers had a Sega Saturn that I’d love to watch them play, and one of the games that stuck out to me most was the original Tomb Raider. I’d never seen anything like it before; Lara’s ability to jump and shoot her way through these fascinating, lost locales really captured me, and I admired her sass, outspokenness, fearlessness, and wit. My brothers did countless speed runs and concocted various challenges to make the game more challenging, and I loved to watch them do it. In this way, Lara Croft became a big part of my childhood, and was the first ever video game character I looked at and thought, ‘I want to be like her.’

Sadly, no matter how much I used my parents’ furniture as my obstacle course, I wasn’t quite Lara levels of brave yet. The one time I tried to play Tomb Raider as a kid, I distinctly remember being overwhelmed by having to pull a lever, turn around, draw my guns, and shoot a bat on the other side of the door. Yes, my childhood self never made it past the Cave tutorial area, and all due to the amazingly isolated atmosphere with its nerve-wracking sound effects. A classic younger sibling in response to my brothers’ kind attempts to share their games with me, I yeeted the controller across the room out of fear and retreated back to my role as an admiring spectator.

A role I stayed in for almost the next thirty years.

Facing My Fears with Tomb Raider Remastered

When Aspyr announced remasters of the original Tomb Raider trilogy to release on February 14th, 2024 (Lara Croft’s birthday, for any who didn’t know), I don’t think anyone saw it coming. With smooth new graphics, a modern control scheme, and the option to play with the classic graphics and tank controls if the player preferred, this was the complete package. I spent a lot of early 2024 watching JillCrofts stream the remasters on Twitch, marvelling at the work done to stay faithful to the original experience with a sleek, modern twist. It felt just like watching my brothers play it all over again, and transported me back to many happy days spent in front of their TV set.

With that nostalgia, though, came the sad realisation that those days were kind of gone. My brothers and I are now spread around the world more often than not, so with distance and real life obligations between us, we don’t get a chance to spend much time together. It hit me that if I wanted to revisit the world of Tomb Raider and parkour down memory lane, I was going to have to face my fears and do it myself.

Taking the Wheel

Not sure how my efforts would turn out, I picked up Tomb Raider Remastered on sale and booted them up on my Steam Deck: something I knew I wasn’t likely to whip across the room. I told myself, ‘Just see if you can finish the Caves level. That way, you’ll have gotten further than you did before.’ That was my initial goal.

To my surprise, it was far easier than I remembered, likely because I’d seen my brothers play it countless times. It was as easy as muscle memory. I kept on playing this way, one level a day or week, figuring out the puzzles as best I could and consulting Stella’s Tomb Raider guide whenever I’d forgotten the solution (another tradition of ours; thank you for years of help, Stella!). This process meant that my playthrough has taken a few months, but I’ve finally made it to Natla’s Mines, and the closest I’ve come to giving up is an unfortunate run-in with the cowboy henchman while trying to get my pistols back. This is because Core Design was very mean and put a key item close to his spawn area. I took one step too many and heard the dreaded ‘ain’t nothin’ personal!’ and had to run for my LIFE. Blessed be to Aspyr for adding subtitles so I knew as soon as I was in danger.

Unfortunately, I forgot I should’ve pulled a lever on a ledge in that area, and had to return and face him again. He was very much waiting to turn me into swiss cheese, and was staring at me over the block I had to climb on to reach the lever. Yes, I screamed. Yes, I turned the game off. But YES, I turned it back on again, climbed that ledge, pulled that lever, did the puzzle I needed to, got my pistols back, and got my revenge (after one death where I backflipped into a pit of lava, but who hasn’t?). It was frightening but so very thrilling, and I was able to laugh through my fear.

I’ll be back for his buddies too, one of these days!

Just the Beginning

It’s been so great to experience these levels that I remember so fondly, this time firmly in the driver’s seat. Even better is the fact that this experience has given me something to talk about with my brothers. By sharing my progress, I’ve been able to surprise them as much as myself, and as the eldest one said, I’m no longer a spectator. I’ve almost completely proven to myself that I can do this when I never thought I could.

This experience has taught me that there’s a lot to be said for pushing yourself out of your comfort zone at times. Instead of letting fear speak for you with, ‘I can’t’s, I hope this post will inspire you to turn on it and question, ‘Why not? Why shouldn’t I? What’s the harm in trying?’. Ultimately, the worst that’ll happen is you mess up, make a mistake, fail a little, but who among us learned to walk without falling down a couple of times?

I hope 2025 is a year full of learning, new experiences, and growth for all of us. I hope we learn a little more about who we are, what we’re capable of, and who we can be, whether it’s something as simple as finishing a video game you thought was too hard, or something as ambitious as publishing that book.

Happy New Year, everybody!

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This year’s come with a lot of lessons for me; thanks to The Slow Life in Kamusari, I also learned to combat my anxiety and the pressure I put on myself to succeed by slowing down and appreciating the things and people around me.

I was also surprised to learn that Spike Chunsoft is releasing a remaster of Ever17: the Out of Infinity in March 2025, which was another defining title for me in my teenage years. Definitely check it out if you like complex, cerebral visual novels like 999 and Steins;Gate!

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